17 signs of an unhealthy relationship. - MY LETTER TO YOU (2023)

It's hard to create and maintain a healthy relationship, and in some ways most couples are just working to get closer. The goal of a healthy relationship is to create a comfortable space where those involved feel comfortable enough to express themselves and where everyone's needs are met. To learn more about your partner, you should take therelationship testto help you identify opportunities for improvement.

Table of contents

What is an unhealthy relationship?

This is the type of relationship where one or both of the people involved show signs that don't support the natural growth of the relationship. For example, poor communication, lack of teamwork, and the couple doesn't spend time together.

Signs of an unhealthy relationship.

  • Bad communication.
  • Disrespect.
  • lack of trust.
  • controller behavior.
  • lying.
  • Isolation.
  • Lack of privacy.
  • lack of boundaries.
  • No quality time.
  • Abuse.
  • Avoid each other.
  • Afraid to share your opinion.
  • Feeling pressured by changes.
  • Don't neglect your own needs.
  • Lack of privacy.
  • Unable to fight fair.
  • Lack of emotional support.

Bad communication.

Poor communication is one of the signs of an unhealthy relationship. It leaves the couple divided and able to understand each other, hence more arguments. Communication is an important part of any relationship and not being able to communicate with your partner can seriously affect the happiness of everyone in the relationship. Signs of poor communication include yelling, unwillingness to listen to your partner's needs, inability to express yourself.


Respect is required in any relationship to create common ground and equity in the relationship. Lack of respect makes people feel unappreciated and worthless in the relationship.

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lack of trust.

Trust is one of the most fundamental parts of any relationship. Therefore, it is not surprising that a lack of trust in a relationship creates dissatisfaction and destroys the bond that exists between a couple. Trust is the glue for most relationships, without which they cannot survive.

controller behavior.

Controlling behavior is a sign of an unhealthy relationship because it takes away someone's freedom and ability to make their own decisions. It causes unhappiness in the relationship and is also a sign of a toxic relationship. Controlling behavior usually takes the form of threats, blaming, and turning the tables on a select few.


Lying in a relationship is a bad sign because it creates trust issues and destroys the mutual bond. Lying to your partner causes resentment and contributes to misunderstandings in the relationship, further driving the couple apart.


Isolation in a relationship and takes two forms. Physical isolation is when one partner physically blocks off the other room or house and restricts their movement to control their lifestyle. Mental isolation keeps someone from connecting with their friends or social circle. This often takes the form of threats and direct orders. This is also another sign of an unhealthy relationship, bordering on toxic.

Lack of privacy.

This is an important part of a romantic relationship that brings the couple closer together and meets their needs. So it's no surprise that a lack of emotional and physical intimacy can make someone feel unwanted and unwanted in the relationship. This can lead to more serious problems, such as infidelity.

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lack of boundaries.

It's important to have boundaries in a relationship because they help respect everyone's space and time. Setting boundaries is another way to get to know your partner. It allows you to understand them and therefore respect their needs in the relationship. Lack of boundaries means a lack of respect for your partner's needs and desires.

17 signs of an unhealthy relationship. - MY LETTER TO YOU (1)


No quality time.

Spending time with your partner is an important part of the relationship. It helps them get to know each other better and better understand the needs of others. Quality time allows you to focus on each other and allows the relationship to grow.


It is another sign of unhealthy relationships. it comes in different forms such as physical abuse, verbal abuse, neglect, emotional abuse and many more. Any form of abuse erodes someone's freedom and well-being and deprives them of their basic needs.

Avoid each other.

Avoiding each other is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. It means you have some unresolved issues or you don't enjoy the time you spend together. Either way, it's something you should investigate and try to fix the situation before it tears you apart and causes the end of your relationship.

Afraid to share your opinion.

Being afraid of sharing your opinion with your partner is something that is not right in the relationship. Relationships must be equal and everyone's opinion and voice must count. If there is a fear that is preventing you from expressing yourself, then something is wrong in the relationship.

Feeling pressured by changes.

Everyone in the relationship should feel free to express themselves and their own individuality. If your partner is forcing or perhaps encouraging you to change against your will, then this is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. You should consider having a serious conversation about everyone's needs in the relationship.

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Don't neglect your own needs.

Relationships a design to meet everyone's needs. This is where commitment and sacrifice come in. Neglect of each other's needs is a serious problem that can lead to an increase in the relationship and break up the couple.

17 signs of an unhealthy relationship. - MY LETTER TO YOU (2)


Lack of privacy.

Relationships need to be open and honest, and that usually comes naturally. But there is a certain level of privacy that everyone expects in a relationship, such as phones, emails, and other personal items. The lack of privacy is usually caused by a lack of trust and insecurity issues. This needs to be addressed before it does more damage to the relationship.

Unable to fight fair.

Relationships experience their fair share of ups and downs. This is expected in every relationship. But when a couple is unwilling to fight fairly and one or both keep thinking about past mistakes. It means that you have unresolved issues and the relationship will suffer as a result. It is always better to address any problem as it arises and then overcome it. Otherwise it becomes unfair to fight the same fight over and over again.

Lack of emotional support.

Lack of emotional support in a relationship is not healthy. The couple must be willing and able to support each other emotionally, as this will bring them closer together as a couple. Supporting each other strengthens your bond. It also helps them understand each other better and meet each other's needs in a relationship. Lack of emotional support isn't necessarily a problem in a relationship if the other person is willing to learn how to be emotionally available.


What makes a healthy relationship?

Being the type of couple that cares about each other's needs and genuinely strives to learn and grow is the best way to build a healthy relationship.

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There are many things that go into a healthy relationship, but mostly it all depends on the people involved in the relationship. We all have weaknesses and strengths and those are the things we bring to the relationship.

Tips for building a healthy relationship.

Building a healthy relationship is something most people want, but don't realize how difficult it can be. It's important to use every opportunity to learn from each other and grow in all aspects of your relationship. Below are some of the tips you can use to keep your relationship on the right track.

  • Spend quality time together.
  • Good communication.
  • Keep privacy alive.
  • Learn to commit.
  • Marathon vs Sprint.
  • Prepare for bad times.
  • Manage your expectations.
  • Honesty.
  • Be trustworthy.
  • Avoid keeping secrets.
  • Make time for personal growth.
  • Appreciate your differences.
  • Trust.
  • Align your values ​​and goals.


Recognizing the signs of an unhealthy relationship and taking steps to improve them will save your relationship a lot of trouble and make you closer to your partner.

Best regards.

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(Video) The difference between healthy and unhealthy love | Katie Hood


What are 5 signs of danger in a relationship? ›

Recognizing the signs of unhealthy relationships
  • Control. One person makes all the decisions and tells the other what to do, what to wear, or who to spend time with. ...
  • Dependence. ...
  • Digital monitoring or “clocking”. ...
  • Dishonesty. ...
  • Disrespect. ...
  • Hostility. ...
  • Harassment. ...
  • Intimidation.

What are some warning signs of trouble in a relationship? ›

Relationship trouble: Some common signs
  • Communication is minimal and often negative.
  • Differences are criticised rather than enjoyed.
  • You are spending less time together.
  • One partner indicates the relationship is in trouble.
  • One partner is rarely prepared to listen.
  • Conflict leads to resentment, not resolution.

What are 4 signs your relationship is failing? ›

It may be hard to accept, but when you notice some signs like abuse, lack of trust, lack of communication, and disrespect, it may be some signs that your relationship is failing, and time to call it off. Even when you try your best to put the relationship together, the damage may be too severe.

What are red flags in a man? ›

Physical, emotional, or mental abuse

Physical, emotional, and mental abuse are undeniable red flags in any relationship. Physical abuse is easier to pick up. But emotional and mental abuse can be just as damaging in the long run. And just like physical abuse, mental and emotional abuse can cause PTSD.

What is biggest red flags in a guy? ›

33 red flags in men
  • He is unable to commit to anything. ...
  • He is controlling. ...
  • He is unreliable and untrustworthy. ...
  • He isn't willing to compromise. ...
  • He is condescending. ...
  • He is manipulative. ...
  • He is disrespectful towards you and others. ...
  • He fails to take responsibility.
Dec 22, 2022

What are the first signs a relationship is failing? ›

If you're not sharing what's really on your mind, it might be a sign that you no longer want a deep connection. Similarly, if you've found that the usual fun banter between you is gone, or it's difficult to have engaging conversations, your bond could be getting weaker.

What are silent red flags in a relationship? ›

According to Jaseena, “Silent red flags in a relationship are those that are not as obvious or jarring as the generic ones like abuse, manipulation, and gaslighting. They aren't visible but are as toxic as the generic red flags.

What are the biggest red flags? ›

What are major red flags? Some red flags can be sorted out with conversation and therapy. However, some should never be tolerated. Major red flags are infidelity, gaslighting, controlling behavior, angry outbursts, and physical, sexual, or emotional abuse.

What are toxic things to say in a relationship? ›

Toxic phrases that can slowly destroy your relationship
  • “You don't deserve me.” ...
  • “Stop asking if I'm okay. ...
  • “You're pathetic.” ...
  • “I hate you.” ...
  • “You're a bad parent.” ...
  • “You're being crazy.” ...
  • “You're so needy.” ...
  • “I'm over this.”
Feb 13, 2023

How do you know someone is not good for you? ›

Here are some warning signs to watch out for if you think you're dealing with a toxic person: You feel like you're being manipulated into something you don't want to do. You're constantly confused by the person's behavior. You feel like you deserve an apology that never comes.

What determines a toxic relationship? ›

A toxic relationship is one that makes you feel unsupported, misunderstood, demeaned, or attacked. A relationship is toxic when your well-being is threatened in some way—emotionally, psychologically, and even physically.

What is the biggest failure in relationship? ›

Trust Issues

Trust issues may include factors such as jealousy, possessiveness, unreasonable rigidity, emotional infidelity, physical/sexual infidelity, relational game playing, lack of reliability and dependability, lack of emotional support, lack of financial compatibility, and lack of mutually-supportive goals.

When should you call it quits in a relationship? ›

If you're not being satisfied emotionally, sexually or intellectually, it's probably time to move on. Ending a relationship is hard, but it's sometimes the only correct thing to do. If you and your partner aren't connecting on the most fundamental levels, it will be best for both of you to move on.

When should you end a relationship? ›

If you feel like you're playing a part, behaving and responding based on how you think you should rather than authentically, you might want to reassess what's going on. If you're not able to be authentically yourself around your partner, flaws and bad moods and all, it might not be the right relationship for you.

What are green flags in a man? ›

“A green flag is when a potential partner is considerate and aware of your boundaries, asks for clarification on them when they are unclear, and does not push them,” she says. Let's say you ask to meet at a bar or the park on the first date and have expressed that you're more comfortable meeting in public places.

How do you know he is not the one? ›

20 signs he's not the one
  • You're bored.
  • He can't communicate.
  • You feel like you're his mom.
  • He doesn't respect you.
  • He isn't supportive.
  • You don't agree on fundamental things.
  • You think about breaking up all the time.
  • He makes you feel bad about yourself.
May 27, 2021

How do you tell if someone is using you emotionally? ›

9 signs someone is using you in a relationship
  • The conversation is always about them. ...
  • They always let you pick up the check. ...
  • You always have to come to their rescue. ...
  • They never say thank you. ...
  • They're always asking for favors. ...
  • You start to resent them. ...
  • Your emotional needs are never considered, let alone met.
Nov 1, 2018

What does a poor relationship look like? ›

Some characteristics of unhealthy relationships include: Control. One dating partner makes all the decisions and tells the other what to do, what to wear, or who to spend time with. He or she is unreasonably jealous, and/or tries to isolate the other partner from his or her friends and family.

How do you know a relationship will last? ›

Your relationship will last forever if your trust, intimacy, and love grow with time. Also, if your future goals and plans are aligned with each other, you can make your relationship work to last a lifetime. Remember that a true win for couples is when they fight but do not forget to respect each other.

How do I know the relationship is over? ›

There's No Emotional Connection

One of the key signs your relationship is ending is that you are no longer vulnerable and open with your partner. A cornerstone of happy, healthy ​relationships is that both partners feel comfortable being truly open to sharing thoughts and opinions with one another.

What are the signs of silent love? ›

If you need more cues, here are a few nonverbal declarations of love that your partner might be displaying.
  • The way they look at you. ...
  • The kinds of things they plan to do. ...
  • They want to make you happy. ...
  • They pamper you. ...
  • They want to take care of you. ...
  • They show emotion. ...
  • They trust you. ...
  • They are understanding.
Jun 12, 2015

What makes a man silent in a relationship? ›

Men can be silent when they're angry, happy, fearful, or sad! It's confusing for everyone. Partners, mainly women, experience huge concern, confusion and anxiety when they experience the silence and withdrawal of their partner.

What are yellow flags in a relationship? ›

If one partner is unwilling to compromise or meet the other halfway on important issues, it can be a yellow flag. A healthy relationship requires both partners to be willing to listen and work together to find solutions that work for both,” says Pia Johnson, LMSW.

What is green flags? ›

We use the term “green flag” to highlight actions or traits that are positive. These are usually signs that someone has healthy behaviors, which can be a good sign that your potential relationship will start off positive and hopefully stay that way. Every relationship looks different.

What are 2 red flags? ›

Double red flags means water is closed to the public. Red flag is high hazard meaning high surf and/or strong currents.

What are the characteristics of red flags in a relationship? ›

Red flags in a relationship include excessive jealousy and frequent lying. You should also be wary of a partner who frequently criticizes you or puts you down. Another major red flag is an unwillingness to compromise — relationships shouldn't be one-sided.

What is the biggest risk in a relationship? ›

Not understanding each others' needs is one of the single biggest risks to your relationship. Not realising that – what your other-half needs from you is probably different to what you need from them, is one of the most common ways for any relationship to fall apart.

How do you tell if it's getting serious? ›

9 Signs That Your Relationship Is Getting Serious

What are green flags in a relationship? ›

“A green flag is when a potential partner is considerate and aware of your boundaries, asks for clarification on them when they are unclear, and does not push them,” she says. Let's say you ask to meet at a bar or the park on the first date and have expressed that you're more comfortable meeting in public places.

What are yellow flags? ›

The term “Yellow flags” was coined to encompass psychological and social/environmental risk factors for prolonged disability and failure to return to work as a consequence of musculoskeletal symptoms. The stated purposes of assessment of Yellow flags were to. Provide a method for screening for psychosocial factors.

When to leave a relationship? ›

If you're constantly fighting and seem unable to resolve conflict, that could be a sign of when to leave a relationship. While you can learn how to avoid arguments, you may not be able to fix deeper problems that a lack of communication indicates.

What does toxic love look like? ›

If a relationship stops bringing joy, and instead consistently makes you feel sad, angry, anxious or “resigned, like you've sold out,” it may be toxic, Glass says. You may also find yourself envious of happy couples. Fuller says negative shifts in your mental health, personality or self-esteem are all red flags, too.

How do you know if someone is treating you badly? ›

If you're seeing the following signs of a toxic relationship, it may be time to seek help:
  • Passive aggressive behavior. ...
  • Volatility. ...
  • "Jokes" that aren't really jokes. ...
  • Walking on eggshells. ...
  • You feel like you have to ask permission. ...
  • Constant exhaustion. ...
  • Becoming isolated.
Feb 28, 2018

What is the #1 cause of problems in relationships? ›

The main reasons why relationships fail are loss of trust, poor communication, lack of respect, a difference in priorities, and little intimacy.

What is the most toxic pattern in any relationship? ›

Such behaviors can lead to the demise of the relationship, ending in break up or divorce. Two of the most toxic of these repetitive patterns in dysfunctional relationships are Demand/Withdraw (DM/W for short) and Repetition Compulsion.

What is an unhealthy relationship pattern? ›

A toxic relationship is often characterized by repeated, mutually destructive modes of relating between a couple. These patterns can involve jealousy, possessiveness, dominance, manipulation, desperation, selfishness or rejection.

How do you know you've fallen for someone? ›

You know you're falling in love when your someone begins to take up major real estate in your thoughts. You might find yourself rehashing your conversations in the middle of work, thinking about your next date days in advance, or even envisioning your future together.

How do you test if he's serious about me? ›

7 Signs To Tell if a Guy Is Serious About You
  • He Listens to You. If a guy is serious about you, he will really listen and he won't take anything you say for granted. ...
  • He Makes Future Plans. ...
  • He Checks Up on You. ...
  • He Helps You with Any Problem. ...
  • He Makes You a Priority. ...
  • He Does Thoughtful Things. ...
  • He Introduces You to His Friends.

How long is a serious relationship? ›

Long-term relationships tend to last anywhere from two to three years, with couples breaking up around this time. Not surprisingly, this is when many couples experience the oxytocin dip and feel less infatuated with each other. They may begin to notice relational issues that bother them or feel unresolvable.


1. 17 Signs of an Emotionally ABUSIVE Relationship
(Get Him Keep Him)
2. 17 Unique Warning Signs You May Have Complex PTSD
(The Minds Journal)
3. 17 Signs He Loves You Deeply
(Make Him Obsessed With You)
4. 17 Signs You Have A Very Healthy Marriage
(Health Heart)
5. Tell Me Your Name, And I’ll Reveal Your True Soul Mate
(JianHao Tan)


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